Moral Compass

This moral compass.
What truth do you hold?
I want what I cannot have.
How unfair.
Fleeting glances.
Stolen conversations.

Do north.
Not east, not west.
Maybe west, but
Do not go south.
Moral compass...
Keep me true.

An Open Letter

"If we aren’t vulnerable enough to be hurt, we aren’t in a place to love."

I am writing an open letter to my husband, wherever he may be.

Dear future husband,

I might not know you yet, but I pray to God everyday for your safekeeping. Please know that everyday I am closer to finding you. I want you to know that I promise to be faithful and loving. I am nowhere near perfect, but I promise to try to be a better person every day that I am with you. I will honor you, I will be faithful and I will put your happiness before my own. I can promise you all of these things. I will be the best wife that I can be and hopefully be the best mother to our children that I can be. I will not lie to you, I will do my best to not hurt you and I will never stop loving you.  I just want to make sure you know just who you are getting here.

I loved you before I knew you and I will love you till the end.

Your wife.

Game over.

At some point in the game, you say enough. You look around at your life and you see how the things fit and you see that something that you wanted to fit so badly, just doesn't fit anymore. It becomes something so unfamiliar to you that you barely recognize it. It makes you become a person you don't want to be and makes you feel a way that you don't want to feel. So enough, enough now.






I am setting myself free. Everyone who wanted to see this happen, here you go, you win.  Game.over.

Post-Project

I have to say, it has been a long month and many things have changed. I am gradually liking this place more. However, I have to say that my current attitude towards my job is not as positive. I am hoping that as time goes on, I will find my niche in the office and my job, etc. I just have to have faith that the things I am doing are going to lead me in the right direction of my life. If not, then I can always stop, re-evaluate and change. That is the beauty of life- it keeps moving on.

Thanks for sticking with me on this project!

Almost there!

ARG, sorry! I've been mia,  I've had a crazy busy week.

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) No longer having roommates
2) Getting rid of all the negative people
3) mouthwash
4) sleep
5) the river
6) Living life
7) my healthy body
8) enough to eat and enough to wear
9) maintaining an attitude of grattitude

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Free pizza!

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: Living close to my friends form school, like Jason!t

Buy 1, Get One Free Special, Tonight Only!

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Coupons
2) Memory foam
3) Getting so many things done
4) Having no one in the office
5) Getting to do cool things at work
6) Reading
7) Costco
8) FLOSS
9) Learning

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Can Can Brasseria

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: Finding myself

Day late... YIKES

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) The river
2) Learning to row
3) The end of a Monday
4) Marines
5) Salad for lunch
6) Pizza for dinner
7) A workout you enjoy
8) Plans
9) Life

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: The James River

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: I love the open space. Strange since I am such a city girl, but sometimes you need a little nature.

Bronze goddess, more like burnt goddess

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Sunshine
2) Sleeping in
3) Finishing a good book
4) Coupons
5) To-do lists
6) Meeting new people
7) Laying in a pool :)
8) Five guys burgers
9) Einstein Bagel's

1 Cool Fact About Richmond:  I have a really awesome pool that I sat in for a good 3 hours. I am not on my way to being bronze via a little burning. :)

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: Having a pool. That is not a normal luxury I had in Arlington.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat...

I am back from an awesome trip to San Francisco! I must say that I simply love that city. I didn't think I would love it, but the trip was awesome and the city is awesome. I have to say, I could definitely live there. I like it much more than NYC. :)

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) A love of reading
2) A love of nature
3) The river
4) Being outside
5) Sleep
6) Boats
7) Passions
8) My couch
9) My kindle

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: The Learn to Row Program by Virginia Boat Club

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: I am so happy that I am able to learn to row which is something that I have wanted to do since college. For those of you who don't know, I love canoeing, kayaking, basically do anything on the water. I have been sporting the attire for years with boat shoes and croakies, so you can only imagine how thrilled I am to learn to to row!!

Water under a bridge, but which one?

****Notice: I will have to take a momentary break while I travel to San Francisco for work, I will resume project upon my return****

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) GPS
2) planning trips
3) A picture that makes your heart flutter.
4) Metaphors
5) Talking to someone you haven't seen in years, almost 10!
6) Sleeping in, but managing to make it into work on time
7) Saving money
8) Having enough to eat
9) Having a place to live

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: My office has a patio where we can sit and eat

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: Being able to drive away for lunch.

I am such an online shopping whore.

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Doing favors for my friends
2) Completing my to-do list
3) New chairs for my apt
4) FINDING MY KINDLE!
5) Rain
6) Neck pillows
7) Finding money in your pockets :)
8) Candles
9) My card case holder

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: The Urban Farmhouse- The Q Blue Sandwich changed my life. It may or may not be the best sandwich I have ever had. EVER.

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: Having a pool to go to!

Happy birthday, Ella Jane!

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Time to read my magazines
2) Cars
3) Laying poolside by the sun
4) Finally finding my embosser!
5) Having a coupon for it
6) napping for 6 hours
7) Having friends
8) Baby Ella being born and both mother and baby being healthy! It's good to know that God is still in the business of miracles :)
9) Greeting cards

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: I live really close to freaking everything

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: The people here are really nice and it's a slower way of life...

Broken, but hopeful

I have to say that this project has been treating me pretty well. However, today has been a struggle. No particular reason, but damn it was rough all over. I struggled to find reasons in the beginning of the day to stay positive and mostly I missed my old job and boss and friends. Sometimes I miss having anyone to talk to in the office and just want to not be around anyone. I know it takes time, but the old thoughts creep back every once in a while. And the thing is, it has nothing to do with my outside life, my outside life i great, but I really miss my co-workers. I miss having young people who are my age with similar tastes and personalities. I also miss having people who are in the same bracket as me. I have reached my breaking point with it and cried. I haven't really cried about anything since moving here, but today I cried. I did it. I said "fuck this" and cried. And I feel like it is okay to cry and understand that not everything is okay. The only reason I feel that it is okay to cry is because I know that things WILL BE okay. But I want to bring us back to our regularly scheduled project...

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Late mornings
2) Helping people out
3) My favorite cupcakery's new show
4) Getting stuff done on my to-do list
5) Sonic's chili cheese tots
6) Fantastic conversation with good friends
7) Last minute get togethers
8) Beer
9) Wings

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: They have a Sonic

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: My friend Jason is moving here

What Like It's Hard?

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Sleeping in and it being ok
2) Getting the chance to do what I want
3) Being referred to as a "Elle Woods"
4) Embracing my inner geek
5) Being hungover and having an easy day
6) DVR'ed shows
7) Him responding back....
8) The possibility of free bagel Friday
9) Baked cheese

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Costco has a gas station and I saved 6 dollars!

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: That I can wake up late and be late to work and not have to worry about being home at a ridiculous hour.

Austin by Black Shelton

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Impromptu invites to a concert
2) Being switched to the team of my choice
3) Still getting to go to San Fran
4) Meetings
5) Happy supervisors
6) Finding the tootsie pop supplier in the office
7) Country music live
8) being a tad bit tipsy due to free drinks (i only bought one, but ended up with 3?)
9) Late night McDonalds


1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Cheap country concerts

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: My friends

Please Do Not Hit Reply All

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Couponsss
2) Starbucks' straws
3) Making returns
4) Sleeping in
5) Everyone liking my desk area
6) Making people laugh
7) Living next to VerryBerry
8) Cheese fries
9) Cute glasses

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Verry Berry is a really cool ice cream place. You put together your ice cream and they weigh it and you pay by weight. And by put together, I mean put all the toppings you want and then add ice cream.

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: I live across the street from Verry Berry!

A Positive Thought Diet

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) NOT getting into car wrecks
2) $50 dollar coupons
3) Starbucks online
4) Starbucks insulated cups and now they have extra straws!
5) How to Be Happy, Dammit
6) Getting almost everything off of my to-do list at work
7) Triple points from Banana Re
8) California Gurls by Katy Perry
9) My first business cards!

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: They have Kroger and this other store called Martin's which used to be a place called Ukrops. They aren't open on Sunday's and the baggers bring the bags out to your car, it's sweet.

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: I know I've said this like 100 times, but shoot, I LOVE living on my own. Having my own space and not having to worry about roommates or my mess or what I am doing. No awkward conversations or run in's to worry about. I can run around in my underwear or look like a slouch and no one can judge me. It really is a wonderful feeling.

“That is what’s so wonderful about being young…There are no mistakes, only research”

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Being young
2) Kappa Alumni Brunch
3) My sorority family
4) Loose fitting v-neck t-shirts
5) Stretchy pants
6) Having enough food
7) Pedicures
8) Spain winning the World Cup, VIVA ESPANA!
9) Nice weather

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Brunch at lovely, local restaurants.

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: That I will be given the chance to be an adviser to my sorority at a different school where as I was on the waitlist in DC. And... I will potentially be given the position of my choice! *keep your fingers crossed*

You have the choice between what is right and what is easy

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) Brunch
2) Too many plans
3) Seeing people I haven't seen in years
4) Finding conversation with people that think they don't like me
5) Sitting outside in nice weather
6) The Hills marathon
7) Harry Potter weekend!
8) Candles
9) When you really want to hear a song on the radio and then it comes on

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Local restaurants are baller.

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: What they consider "traffic," just makes me giggle.

Dear Summer, stop being such a menopausal b*tch-J

9 Things I am Thankful For:

1) People relying on me at work
2) Discovering new driving routes to work
3) Cupcakes
4) Happiness in the simple things
5) Clean apartments
6) Reorganizing
7) Organizing
8) Books
9) Inspiration

1 Cool Fact About Richmond: Palani Drive Restaurant, the food here is amazing! I had a brie and mushroom quesadilla- phenom. 

1 Thing I Really Like About Richmond: It is in such a central location.