It has been a long time since I have been happy. I can't quite pinpoint when I stopped being happy or even what caused it, but there was a good six months, maybe more, of unhappiness. And yesterday, Monday, November 30, 2009, I jumped into the car of my friend squealing with delight of my pink coat, the cold and even the rain. I decided that I like being happy, it's more fun.
For a short period of time, I liked blaming the city, the north, people around me, etc. Recently, I started blaming God. I was angry with Him, really angry. I even bordered on the line of being a bitter b-word. For those of you who know me, you know why. All along, I recognized that I wasn't meant to marry him. I know that, but I couldn't help but seek out reasons, wanting to know why and who and for what good could this possibly serve. I had (have) so many questions and want the answers right now. I just have to know that the one I am supposed to be with is coming as fast as he can and he will get here when he is supposed to.
This morning, I was reading my friend's blog labeled "Inspiration" under sites I visit, and her month long challenge for December is naturally, inspirational. She referenced the A-H site and the Laws of Attraction, Power, etc. I never read the books, but I did check them out at the local library while living in Norfolk and skimmed them.
Things to be grateful for:
* The toxic people in my life are gone
* I have a wonderful family and friends
* I have a job that I genuinely like and work with people I genuinely like
* I like who I am and who I am becoming
So, I'll try to remember these things and remind myself of it and think of new ones. I will not be participating in her month long challenge, but I will try to remember to be grateful and remember to be happy, because I am much more pleasant.