Thursday, June 24, 2010

Conserving my values

I have struggled for a long while over whether or not I wanted to write this post. It has been an internal struggle for me. So with that... beware.

I have always considered myself fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Not on a whole lot of topics, just pro gay marriage, pro choice, etc. I am still a firm believer in the death penalty and support any state that chooses to make an express lane to take that route- yes, I truly AM Texan.

So here I stand at a crossroads in my growing up period and one thing that has been bother me since about April 2009 is my stance on abortion. Here are my two influential and conflicting stories.
Story 1) Pro-life

There used to be this girl that I worked with. I used to consider her a friend and some days of the week, enjoyed her company. A little bit of background on her, she was married and we had been working together about 4 months at this point (April 2009). Obviously, she was not happily married because she started having an affair with another man that we worked with. She was not terribly discreet about it and even felt proud of having an affair. Needless to say, my other co-worker and I were appalled of how careless she was not only in having the affair, but also in the way she talked openly about it at work.

There was a brief lapse in our talking days prior to the month of April and this is when she found out that she was pregnant with her affair-ee's child. Yup... Not the sharpest tool in the shed, this one. So, on Easter weekend, she had an abortion. (irony?) Not because she didn't want the baby or didn't have the finances to sustain a life of a child, but because she didn't want to shame her family. She didn't want to shame her family because of the horrible, ignorant, life-altering choices SHE chose. She chose to be selfish- shocking- and end the life of the baby. In her mind and according to her religion- "it was okay because the soul doesn't enter the baby until after 40 days".  So she killed it, yet goes around preaching that she is pro-choice, but would NEVER have an abortion.

Fortunately, her now ex-husband has no idea otherwise he wouldn't have to pay her any alimony. He did, however, find out about the affair. And still agreed to divorce HER, therefore she still gets alimony. Manipulation at its finest.

Story 2) Pro-choice

I know this girl. This girl is equally as ignorant and selfish as the girl in story 1. She is just younger. Well this girl decided that since her mother wouldn't let her have a dog, she would just get pregnant. So, September 2009 rolls around and here appears a sweet, little baby who has done nothing to deserve the life he shall endure.

****Disclaimer: There was a whole SLEW of drama that ensued with this pregnancy and the father of the child. (Let's just say he is a REAL winner, felon style)****

Anywho, this girl has no education, no job and literally does NOTHING all day. Nothing. She relies soley on her brother and her mother to take care and support her and the baby since the father is all sorts of useless.

Well.... here we are in December/January timeframe and guess what? The baby is 3 months old and the dumb b-word is now preggars with a 2nd child. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Do NOT bring another child into this terrible situation. Everyone surrounding her prayed to God that she would turn her life around... No such luck, in fact, she made the situation worse. Congrats, you dumb b-word, I will give you a freaking trophy for worst mother EVER.

And unfortunately, unlike story 1, she is actually faithful to her beliefs and will not get an abortion. This is a case where I genuinely think having an abortion or giving the baby up for adoption would benefit the child.
So here I stand, at the crossroads of my decision making on my social beliefs. Where do I go from here?

*This was written and saved for many months before posting*

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